Embracing Failure: How Students Can Turn Setbacks into Success

So you have just got your GCSE or A Level results and now know whether you have the grades needed for your chosen university course, college course, or career path.

It is a stressful time for students and parents alike, marking the culmination of two years of studying and pressure. This pressure is often framed in a way that makes these exams feel like a matter of life or death. Failure is not seen as an option, as it is often portrayed as the end of career prospects or a path to societal rejection.

Some of you may be feeling down now because you didn’t achieve the grades you hoped for. However, these exams are not the be-all and end-all. In fact, what does failure even mean?

What is failure?

Failure means not reaching a goal or succeeding in an area.

Failure is something that dominates our society because it often makes us feel or look bad. We don’t want to appear foolish or inadequate in front of our classmates, colleagues, family or prospective partners. When failure occurs, it can lead to a lack of confidence, anxiety, low self-esteem and potentially social isolation––if you let it.

For many, the fear of failure often prevents them from taking action to avoid such outcomes. As a teenager, you may feel the need to hide away or avoid certain situations. However, this feeling isn’t unique to you. The fear of failure is something people face throughout their lives, often actively avoiding opportunities where they might fail. If you ask your parents or teachers whether they have ever been afraid of failing or avoided an activity, they will likely say yes––I know I have!

A fear of failure can lead to:

• Procrastination

• Low self-esteem

• Refusing opportunities

• Doing the bare minimum

• Chasing shortcuts

• Lying and cheating

• Avoiding responsibility

These factors can often be the reason you don’t achieve the results you want.

It is OK to be pissed off!

When you receive bad news, it can feel like a punch in the stomach, especially if you are surrounded by people celebrating! It can churn up a lot of emotions, including disappointment, frustration, anger, shame, jealously, sadness, regret or disheartened. You may feel like jumping into a hole in the ground or disappearing into a cave!

And, that is OK. Feel those emotions; don’t deny them! Accept your anger and that you didn’t reach your goal this time!

Feel and then reflect.

• Your life is not over, is it?

• You still have options, don’t you?

Taking this time to reflect can start to open up possibilities and spark your creativity as you explore at your options. And, you most definitely still have lots of options!

Life Happens

In life, things will sometimes not go the way you planned. You’ll make mistakes, be thrown off course by things beyond your control, have bad days, and may even sabotage yourself or avoid certain situations because the fear of failure feels overwhelming!

Remember this:

• Getting a bad result doesn’t make you a bad person.

• Getting a bad result doesn’t mean you will always get bad results.

• Getting a bad result doesn’t necessarily mean you failed when you remove the comparisons and focus on what you actually want.

In the short-term, a perceived failure can feel uncomfortable, and it is easy to convince yourself that you are defective in some way. However, I prefer to see failure in a more positive light, rather than as a fixed character trait or event that will define you forever.

Because you have a choice.

It’s time to own it!

You with me?

There is no failure, only feedback

I got an E in politics when I did my one A level. I also got a Distinction in my Business course. It was enough to move onto the next stage on my life, though at 18, I wasn’t sure what it would be. I had a job and time to think. By the end of a year out, I decided university was my route, and my results were good enough to get into my first choice.

I got a 2:2 at University, just 4% shy of a 2:1! I had an amazing final year, but my 2nd year was a disaster for a variety of reasons, so I needed a miracle to get a 2:1. Ultimately, though, I got what I needed to secure a job.

Instead of dwelling on 'what ifs' and wishing for a time machine, I chose to see these setbacks as opportunities to reflect and learn from my mistakes. Ultimately, I hadn’t worked hard enough, but I had worked hard enough to get to the next stage in life. So, I focused on how I could grow from it.

Life is full of these opportunities. The temptation may be to catastrophize and beat yourself up, but how does that help you move forwards? Wishing you studied harder is useless if you don’t actually do that when the next opportunity arises.

That is why I life by the mantra: there is no failure, only feedback. Life continually presents opportunities to reflect, learn and grow––it's up to you to see them and learn from them.

Of course, if you get a result below your expectations, it can be disappointing and frustrating. It is okay to feel how you feel and denying your feelings is never healthy. Take some time to sit with them and when you feel ready, reflect on your experience:

• What did you do well?

• What could you improve next time?

• What is the number one lesson that you will action?

Use your answers to guide your actions on your next project, whether it's an exam, interview, or presentation.

It is an opportunity

On A Level results day, I saw many posts on LinkedIn from people who hadn’t achieved the results they wanted when they were students. They shared how this opened up different opportunities for them––whether by pursuing alternative courses, starting a job that led to a career, or taking time out of education to travel or work before eventually going to university at a later stage.

The common thread in all these stories was that the world didn’t end, and their lives didn’t fall apart because they received lower A Level results than they wanted. With time and experience, they have been able to reframe failure as a redirection and see threats as opportunities.

And that's a great way to view things now. You are a teenager and you have a blank canvas in front of you.

What Does Success Mean To You?

This is an important question to consider: what does success mean to you?

It is easy to get caught up in other people's ideas about what success should look like for you. Your parents, teachers, friends, and society will all have opinions about what you're good at and the career path that would suit you. But ultimately, it's up to you to define what success means to you and decide what path you want to follow.

Upon reflection, we often discover we feel we have failed because we didn't reach goals that we never wanted to reach in the first place. Perhaps you took on a challenge for the wrong reasons, such as trying to please someone or being influnced by other people's opinions. It happens, and the earlier you start questioning things and asking yourself "Am I okay with this?" the better!

Take some time to think about these questions, "What does success look like to me?" and "What makes me happy?"

These reflections can feel intimidating at first, but they have the power to open up a path that you truly want to follow.

Your journey is rarely a straight-line

I have worked with many students who didn’t get the grades they needed for their first-choice or even backup university options. However, this often led them to explore other options they really enjoyed––options they might never have considered if they had achieved the grades they were originally aiming for.

As I've told many students: the path from A to B is rarely a straight line. Sometimes, you have to go from A to C to U to Y before eventually reaching B! And that's exciting because there are so many opportunities and adventures out there.

When you see a wall, there's usually a door not too far away. Go through it and see what happens!

Whatever your results, remember that you are awesome and more than just grades. Today is just a road bump, and you have countless adventures and experiences ahead of youin front of you––including ones that you may not have even imagined yet or don't believe are possible right now!

Where is the failure in that?