Empowering Teenagers: The Importance of a Growth Mindset

You can feel your heart beating a million miles an hour. You're convinced that you are going to fail.

A cold sweat trickles down your back like a waterfall.

You stand there, wishing the earth would swallow you whole, wrapping you in the world’s largest comfort blanket!

Stop…breathe!

What you are feeling is your body preparing for action. Adrenaline is surging through your veins, getting you ready for what's to come. The only problem? You've attached a negative story to this feeling.

You think you are going to fail, that people will laugh at you, or that the entire experience will be a colossal waste of time.

But what if you reframed it? What if there was no failure––only feedback?

Those nervous butterflies in your stomach? They can become excited butterflies, ready to help you share your awesomeness with the world.

Ready?

Then let's explore how to build a growth mindset, so you can start seeing the opportunities in every challenge and develop confidence in actions like exams, public speaking, interviews, or presentations.

It Is perfectly normal to feel nervous

First things first: it is perfectly normal to feel nervous before an exam, interview, or presentation. Even after speaking in front of thousands of people, I still experience a surge of nervous energy before stepping on stage or standing in front of a new class.

Why? Because nerves show that you care about the outcome! You want to do well. It matters to you, and you don’t want to make a mistake.

Quick Science Stop

Did you know that feeling nervous and feeling excited trigger almost the same physiological response in your body? In English - your body reacts in the exact same way to prepare for action.

When you are gearing up for a challenge, your sympathetic nervous system kicks in, causing:

• An increased heart rate

• Adrenaline surges

• Dilated pupils

• Shallow breathing

Know the feeling?

Basically your body doesn’t know the difference between excitement or nervousness. The only difference is that you have attached a story to the feeling.

I am going to faceplant myself

No, seriously! This is exactly what I used to tell myself before I got on stage––I thought I'd trip and everyone would laugh! I am naturally clumsy and often trip over thin air, but just as long as I didn’t knock myself out, I would make a joke about it and move on!

In that example, I chose to ignore the negative story in my head and instead focused on the possibilities available that public speaking could offer.

This shift didn't happen overnight. I used to hate the idea of public speaking, probably because, as a student, my classmates would laugh at me and act immaturely. But ultimately, I had a choice: let their childish behaviour define my life or change the narrative.

Over time, I found ways to build my confidence in speaking. I shifted my mindset, not seeing presentations or speeches as threats but as opportunities––opportunities to talk about subjects I'm passionate about. Gradually, I discovered how to let my personality shine and improve my delivery.

Sure, there were times when things didn’t go so well, but that was yet another opportunity.

There is no failure, only feedback!

Ever since I first heard this phrase during a training course, it has become my mantra––a way of life that I apply every day.

But, what does it mean, Ashley?

Great question! It's about viewing every activity as a learning opportunity. Here are a few examples:

1. Didn’t get the job? Reflect on what you could have done better in the interview. Is there an area where you need to improve or learn more? Instead of focusing on the rejection, focus on strengthening your weaknesses so you can smash your next interview.

   
   

2. Presentation at school didn’t go as planned? Identify what went wrong and what went well. Is there anything you can do to prepare better next time? Instead of labelling yourself as "terrible at public speaking," treat each presentation as feedback to help you build on your strengths and address areas for improvement.

I use this approach when evaluating my classes or training sessions. Some days, everything flows effortlessly, while other days, things don't go as smoothly. The key is not to take it personally or let it define your competence.

We all have good days and bad days. Just look at your favourite athletes, musicians or actors––they experience ups and downs too. The important thing is to learn from both!

For example, in my teaching, I constantly look for ways to improve my lesson plans. With public speaking, I experiment with different delivery methods or content. With writing, I write and write.

Speaking of that!

Practice Makes Perfect…or does it?

Perfection is elusive––it's a goal that will keep you endlessly striving, often leading to frustration and self-doubt. It's a path that makes you feel like you're not good enough and leaves you questioning if you ever will be. This happens because we tend to make unfair comparisons with superstars, singers, or others that currently have more skill or experience than we do.

Instead of chasing perfection, I focus on practicing until I gain competence and confidence. I approach this by being playful and enjoying the process. I celebrate small wins along the way and look for new ways to learn, grow and have fun.

Every step you take is progress. Even if you can't see it yet, I promise you are making progress. Think about something that you're good at now––were you always good at it?

Stretch yourself without pulling a muscle

Your journey through life will be full of ups and downs. There will be moments when things don’t go your way and times when you'll need to dive outside of your comfort zone––without a parachute!

However, whether you're facing a daunting challenge or attempting to achieve a big goal, there are ways to support yourself. It all starts with developing a growth mindset.

And, I’ll hand over to Carol Dweck, the growth mindset expert to highlight what it is…

You try something, it doesn’t work, and maybe people even criticise you. In a fixed mindset, you say, ‘I tried this, it’s over.’ In a growth mindset, you look for what you’ve learned.

When you focus on opportunities to learn and grow, rather than seeing everything as a win-or-lose situation, you open your mind to endless possibilities. Embracing this mindset creates the space and energy you need to pursue dreams you're passionate about. While roadblocks may arise, you'll have confidence to overcome them and keep moving forwards.

Tips To Develop A Growth Mindset

Developing a growth mindset takes time and effort, but the rewards are absolutely worth it. Here are a few tips to help you cultivate a growth mindset:

• Don’t stop being a kid - Embrace the joy of discovery and explore new subjects, places, and ideas. Stay curious and ask "why?" often. Get playful, be creative and spend time doing things you love.

• Control your narrative - you have the power to choose whether you feel nervous or excited about something. Turn those butterflies in your stomach into allies that help you succeed.

• Carry out a SWOT Analysis - This business tool can help you assess your strengths, weaknesses opportunities, and threats. For example, identify your strengths and how you can use them to achieve your goals. Pinpoint weaknesses and find ways to improve, such as through reading, training, or more practice. When it comes challenges like presentations, you might them as a threat (e.g., fear of people laughing at you), but also consider the opportunities they present. Even if things don't go perfectly, ask yourself: what can I learn from this?

• Use the Power of YET - You might not know how to drive a car yet or speak Spanish yet, but there's always something you can do to change that, isn't there?

• Seek out role models - Instead of feeling threatened by others' successes, see them as inspiration. Learn from their journeys and accomplishments. If possible, ask them questions about the steps they took. For famous figures like athletes or celebrities, look for podcasts, Youtube videos, or books about their stories––there's so much to learn.

• Embrace The Challenges - Yes, challenges require effort, and your mind might tell you that time is better spent binge-watching videos onTikTok. But seeing challenges as an opportunity to learn and grow (See SWOT above) not only builds your skills, but also strengthens your resilience...which helps you…

• Dive outside your comfort zone - This is one of the greatest gifts that you can give yourself. It expands your horizons, builds courage, and opens the door to incredible experiences. For me, this has included solo backpacking in my twenties and running a 10k race after barely running for 20 years. Trust me, stepping outside your comfort zone is the gift that keeps on giving.

Of course, there are many more tips, but these will be for another blog. The key is to embrace challenges and see failure as valuable feedback. Never shy away from feedback, even if it's hard to hear at the time. One day, you'll look back and be grateful for it.

As we wrap up this journey, ask yourself: what challenges do you want to take on? What dreams do you want to turn into reality? Play around with those questions, take the first step and enjoy the ride!

Need Some Support To Smash Your Goals?

If your teenage child needs support developing a growth mindset or achieving in their goals, contact me today to learn how youth mentoring can help them succeed.